Question: 2nd Wedding Etiquette Flower Girls not invited to reception?

Answer #1
I would suggest to them, that if your children are taking part in the wedding, that they should get to have fun at the reception. If that doesn't work, maybe suggest taking the girls out of the wedding so you and your husband can stay for the reception.
- answered by jeannielunchbox

Answer #2
They should have given you more than two weeks notice if they don't want the kids at the reception but they do want you. They're the ones being rude, not you.
- answered by maigen_obx

Answer #3
Actually THEY are the ones being quite rude. They should understand that when you have kids, you come as a package deal. They're trying to have it both ways - have an adults only reception but not offering any help or suggestions when it comes to the kids. How do they think the kids are going to get home?! They're being really selfish and idiotic. I would just say "I'm really sorry if you feel this is rude but I can't just abandon my child. When I agreed for them to be in the ceremony, you didn't tell me they weren't invited to the ceremony. They would have no way to get home and I'm not sure I can get a babysitter at this late date and to be honest, I don't think I should have to. This is a family affair and I feel hurt that your own grandchildren aren't being included."
- answered by bestadvicechick

Answer #4
As a wedding planner, this is NOT proper etiquette. However, each bride (or renewal) need not adhere to ANY etiquette. If they prefer no children but have still asked your children to be part of the special day then the solution is simple. Enjoy the ceremony as a family, arrange for a friend to take the kids to lunch/dinner while you join the reception for the toast, photos, etc. And then get out of there as soon as politely possible to get your kids. The most important thing is making these 2 people comfortable & happy on their very special day.
- answered by Katie R

Answer #5
It is very common to not have kids at a reception. It is an honor for your girls to participate in the ceremony and it is obvious that their grandparents love them (or they would not have asked!) Take them to the ceremony then have a baby sitter watch them after and go to the reception. It is not rude at all to not have children attend. You would not take your kids to an adult party if someone else asked you not to, why not the same courtesy to your in laws?
- answered by amoroushotmama

Answer #6
I don't think it is unusual to have an adult reception. I think you should get a babysitter and have a nice evening out with your husband!
- answered by Silly Sally

Answer #7
let me guess that this is HIS parents, really nothing you could do, i would guess you would have to bite the bullet for your husband's sake, i would tell the kids that it is an adult gathering, that is what I would do just to "save face"however, this is really your husband's choice and problem, so he can get the baby sitter, and then you can get drunk and party, right?although, i know the temptation is to pull the kids from the wedding, and not attend at all, lol, you can't, as crappy as it is, you will have to try to shake this one off and do what is asked of you, i know it sucks to have your man in a wedding that your not in.
- answered by vp

Answer #8
Its unbelievable to me that these grandparents don't want their grandchildren, especially the little flower girls, to be at the reception. So, the kids do some work at the church, play the pretty flower girls, and then go home without any cake!!!This is not only rude, but when you think about it, their union created these children, they should be shown off as a wonderful legacy. My parents have 4 grandchildren and 1 on the way, they celebrated their 40th anniversary in June, and they were all there, they stole all the attention, and my parents couldn't have been happier. I don't know really what I'd do in your shoes, but I know I'd be insulted and offended. Do they think they would be uncontrollable and misbehave??If so, why have them in the wedding party? Now that I think about it, I think I'd go home with the kids.......If my child wasnt' welcome by her grandparents, I wouldn't be able to stay.
- answered by smt1967

Answer #9
You'd think that - this being a renewal ceremony and all, that your in-laws would be a little more relaxed about the whole thing. The first thing I'm wondering is how old your girls are... if they are 5-6 yrs. old or younger then perhaps an "adult" party is the last place they'd want to be? If, on the other hand, they are older and will feel left out of the festivities then I would fight for them to be at the reception.We (my sister and I) are estranged from our paternal grandparents, in part because in the midst of all the family squabbling, no one faught for us... no one stopped to think about what it would mean to us if mothers and sons stopped talking to each other.My advice is this: do what is best for your girls. If that means pulling them out of the festivities all together, then so be it. If it means confronting your in-laws (hopefully with your husband at your side) then go for it. I imagine that your husband is probably feeling torn between wanting to please his mother (for some reason this seems rather universal) and standing up for you and your girls. If you are the type of person to pick your battles, I'd say this is a good one to pick. Surely a second-time bride would be a little more understanding? Especially if your girls are anticipating a great party... would "Grandma" really tell them they can't come? If things are at a stalemate (i.e. you can't find a reasonable solution that everyone is okay with) then I'd tell "Grandma" that she can explain to her grandaughters why they aren't allowed to come to the reception. My hunch is that she'll back down pretty quickly rather than having to face two beautifully innocent & expectant faces.Personally, I think it is very tasteless for anyone to ask family to be a part of a wedding then suggest that the same family members who were important enough to be included in the ceremony aren't welcome at the reception.Good luck!
- answered by Ms. Dragonfly

Answer #10
Whether there are children at the reception or not, their own grandchildren shouldn't be included in that rule... even if they are not in the wedding party. It's their own grandchildren! But, thats just my view.I have been to a few "no children" weddings but every child in the party was able to attend. Goiing back to my opinion... Personally, I too would leave right after the ceremony if they are stuck in their ways. Your husband can still attend if he wants, especially being it's his parents... but I would just bring the kids home and have my own party with them. Girls night in!!Try talking to them with your husband.... maybe they are blinded by love and too focused on the renewal and not thinking to clearly.
- answered by Elaine L

Answer #11
Sorry to say, but they are the ones being rude. All members of the bridal party should be invited to the reception. They should have told you this before. If they are insistent now they they will have to deal with the fact that you cannot attend the reception. If you have already used someone as a sitter, then that would be okay, but nowadays most people have relatives care for their children if they need a sitter and apparently those relatives will probably be at the reception too. Tell your parents they will have to choose either the children attend or you don't. If they get upset too bad for them, they're the ones who made the rules.
- answered by Butterfly

Answer #12
I think it's rude as they will be part of the ceremony.I'm sure too little girls won't ruin the reception.
- answered by lillulu460