Question : Please help..need help with detective work here on my husband..?
A.So, here’s the deal..My husband is becoming super-secretive as of late. Yesterday when he was in the shower he forgot to take his cell with him and it started to ring. I answered and a man called and identified himself from Proflowers and asked for my husband. I stated he was unavailable, can I take a message? He said it was about his account and to please return the call. I thought maybe he was actually being nice for once and ordering me flowers! Well, I told him and he denied up and down that he had placed an order and musta been wrong number and everything..well yesterday came and went and no flowers to me..soooooo..I am now realizing that he placed an order for someone else. How can I find out who he placed an order for? He has a hundred email accounts and hides his passwords on everything and I no longer have access to the credit cards because he hides those too. I have no more time for his bullcrap and just want to leave him. We have a little boy and I am not going to let himdo this to us anymore..I tried asking him, talking..he won't open up. His citizenship is pending right now through me and I know that's his main concern if I find out what's really going on..
- asked by Chef Boyardee
All Answers:
Answer #1
RUN RUN RUN! He sounds as if he's using you to stay here. Tell him to fess up
or move out. Good luck
- answered by kasa786
Answer #2
Don't let him use you for citizenship. If you are truly tried leave his sorry
a**!
- answered by IceQueen_Always2002
Answer #3
Just leave him. Sounds like he is using you to get citizenship. Also seems like
you already want to leave him and want a GOOD reason. Truth is wanting out is a
good reason if your not happy tell him to take a hike.
- answered by wallace02mgd
Answer #4
He is obviously having another woman, at least one, on the side. Get him out of
you and your son's lives. What kind of man is he going to teach your son to be?
You can replace him with a man that will do you and your son right. Dump him
and send him back to where he came from.
- answered by bailey
Answer #5
His citizenship is not your problem. This man is hiding things from you. He's
not being honest, AND he's sending flowers to someone else. What more do you
need to convince you to leave? Your little boy doesn't need to see that marriage
is built on lies and distrust. Instead, teach him that it takes a strong woman
to stand up for herself. Be that woman. Wouldn't you rather your son learn how
to treat women from you? His daddy's not a very good example!
- answered by katydid
Answer #6
If you need the proof actually staring you in the face, then hire a private
detective. If you want to stay married to him, if you love him, then be
prepared to find out something nasty. Also, if you find out that he is
cheating, are you prepared to do something about it? Some women like to find
out the truth, then make their lives miserable by wanting to keep the marriage
in tact and always asking "why". If you are prepared to leave him, then hire a
private detective, but be prepared for the outcome too. Make your plans now,
decide what it is you will do if you do find out he is cheating. If you only
want to find out so as you will having something to complain about, then dont do
it. If you are like me and you need an honest relationship, then do whatever
you need to do to find out the truth. I know I could not live with someone who
didnt love me exclusively....I could not be second to another woman.....its
totally dishonest.Whatever you decide to do, be prepared for the outcome and
have a plan in mind.....but that plan must be in the best interests of you and
your son......and if you find out he is cheating and it is unacceptable to you,
then obviously the marriage isnt going to last and your son wouldnt be happy
anyway in a home where the parents are unhappy.Its a horrible situation for
anyone to be in. I hate not knowing and I get the impression you are the same.
Find out the truth, it is the only honest way to live......I wish you the very
best.
- answered by rightio
Answer #7
Oh my goodness, looking at this from the outside looking in, it is obvious he is
being unfaithful. The phone call alone should have tipped u off, and u said he
isn't nice to you either.He don't deserve u girl. Stand up for urself and be a
good role model to ur son. I know the feeling, not knowing u should leave but
wanting to hang in there and hope they will change, but when it comes to this u
can't do anything if he wants to be a male whore that is what he will be.save
urself the heart ache and pain it will cause in the future and get ur things
together and do ur own thing, us women are strong and I know u know he's being
unfaithful and using u for his citizenship like so many men do (it happened to a
friend of mine).ur worth so much more and I know u will find a man who will love
you and be nice to u and ur son.U both deserve a man who will love and cherish
you
- answered by lamikashi
Answer #8
Give him an ultimatum. Either he comes clean with you immediately or he goes
back to wherever he came from. Don't take his $#!t anymore.
- answered by rtanys
Answer #9
MAY be a terroist.
- answered by kieththewinemaker
Answer #10
You need to really think about your situation...what good would it do to find
out about the flowers...would that make you leave him? It sounds like you
already have plenty of reason...forget about the flowers and take care of
yourself and your little boy!
- answered by avechm
Answer #11
when your husband refuse to tell you whats going on when you nicely ask him.and
even threaten him to the extent,he would deny having secrets,perhaps you should
keep calm and keep your ears and eyes open.sooner or later he would slip up.when
that happens the truth will show itself and you will know what to do next.good
luck pray that your suspicions are not true.
- answered by spunky
Answer #12
If he is not willing to talk to you about what happened then he is obviously not
willing to work out this situation. Either the guy was calling for him for a
specific purpose, like to meet up later, for whatever reason, or your right, he
did order flowers for someone else. It sounds like your hubby is very secretive
at the least. I think you should leave him and see what happens. If he wants
to work things out with you he will contact you and open up. If you want to
leave him I think you should because there is no reason to stick around. He's
up to something, you just don't know what.
- answered by onceirantoyounowirunfromyou
Answer #13
Sounds like this guy is using you to get his citizenship...I would call back the
flower company and ask for the address where they were suppose to be sent
to...if your nice about it..you might get the info your looking for...good luck
- answered by Laceyfromcali
Answer #14
Can't you open the mail when it comes in, the credit card company would be
mailing it to your address? Check if anything shows up as being purchased in
Proflowers. There would be a monthly credit card statement showing all
purchases made.I would go to Proflowers and pretend that I am here to put some
money down on his account, does he have a personal bill or use his credit card?
- answered by Emily L
Answer #15
It sounds to me like you've been had. This guy only married you to get his
papers. I think you know what you have to do. Take your kid and run. I would
also go to immigration and tell them that he fooled you and screw him!!!
- answered by jjeano661
Answer #16
You should be packing your bags now instead of telling us about it. Get out and
be done with Mr. Two Timer.
- answered by seahorse
Answer #17
keep snooping around and see if you can find out any more incriminating
evidence. If you're thinking of leaving, you're obviously NOT happy, think hard
about your overall relationship and go from there. what do you really want?
- answered by Sharky
Answer #18
Sounds like he may have a second life somewhere with another woman, you'll never
know... He could be just using you for citizenship. Don't let him take any more
of your life, you should leave him if he can't be honest with you...
- answered by Jasmina
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