Question : Am I unreasonable for Valentine's day, or is my boyfriend being mean?
My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost six years and I have never recieved flowers from him. After several subtle hints went unoticed, I asked if I could have flowers for Valentine's day. He made a big deal about it, pointing out how much of a pushup it would be and continued to ask me each day if he still had to get me flowers.I asked if we were going anywhere for V-day yesterday and he sighed and said "Well...I guess if you really want to..." I got really upset and started crying and he ignored me. He showed me the recipet for the flowers later but I don't even want them anymore because they have no sincere meaning. It not about flowers now...I'm upset because he hurt my feelings and he won't even acknowledge he's done anything wrong...am I getting too upset over nothing?
- asked by seiya_odango
All Answers:
Answer #1
What has he recieved from you?
- answered by Spud55
Answer #2
Sounds like your boyfriend is a real loser! Dump him. You deserve better!
- answered by Sven B
Answer #3
hahahahaand you're gonna stay with him too...lolthas the irony, he treats you
like sh!t and you're gonna stay. Ah man, God is one hell of a comedian.
- answered by Stymie
Answer #4
his un careing you need to dump him.
- answered by peter b
Answer #5
So how are you wrong when you just want to feel awesome for a day??? He sounds
like the kinda guy who wont even get you breakfast in bed when u marry!!! Do
yourself a favor and dump him! He sounds so insincere!!
- answered by Lacems
Answer #6
Dear, you two ought to read the book "The 5 love languages." Both of you. It
will help both of you understand.
- answered by John
Answer #7
Exactly. Valentines day means nothing, you are upset over some stupid day that
the greeting card companies made up less than 100 years ago.
- answered by bestbet77
Answer #8
you are a hard woman to please. You are acting like a little kid before
Christmas time..why don't you wait till Valentine's Day and don't say anything
and see what he does. (but it sounds like to me that you won't wait and keep
bugging your boyfriend until you drive him crazy). p.s. every time I ever gave
a woman flowers it always meant bad luck to me afterwards..so therefore..I will
never give a woman flowers as long as I live ..
- answered by Dfirefox
Answer #9
Don't get upset, get even.Go to the florist and pick a lovely bunch of flowers,
possibly a dozen roses. Get a nice card to attach to it and write yourself a
very romantic message from your secret admirer. Make sure that the flowers are
put in a place where the boyfriend can be sure to see them and if possible get
them delivered when he is with you. If he doesn't get upset or worried and
change his ways then move on as he isn't worth it.
- answered by auburn
Answer #10
wow...he is an ass. he is totally used to you. having you. he already takes you
for granted, imagine when you guys get married? girl, there are so many man out
there, romantic..loving, caring..please, dont be stuck with someone just because
you've been with him for such a long time. you deserve flowers, but like u said,
its gotta come from him, with feelings.. not just b/c you asked.
- answered by happygirl
Answer #11
If you aren't happy you can't make him happy. A relationship is not 50-50 - It
needs 100% from both sides!
- answered by calala_red
Answer #12
No, you are not. You're a girl/lady who wants to feel special, be treated
special specially by her boyfriend. And, if he can't do that small thing to
you, how can he do great things for you?These kind of men are disasters, they
won't do you any good. Imagine, having to ask you what to do for valentine's
day, and when you tell him, he will not do it because he says he will be a
pushover if he do that. What an a**hole.My advice to you, get out of that
relationship as fast as you can, break up with him before it's too late. And
it's not about the valentine's day crap, it's about how he treats you.
- answered by jocjac
Answer #13
After 6yrs and such resistance to Valentine's Day, I'd straight ask him "what
gives?", and regardless of his personal feelings for the holiday (some people
hate it) he should still go to some length to make his girl feel special on that
day. How many times do you bend over backwards for him even on days when you're
just not feeling it?
- answered by Ringading
Answer #14
Sit him down and tell him what this is about. It's important to stay calm.
It's not the flowers, it's that you want some attention/affection from him
because you are boyfriend and girlfriend. You want him to care about you. And
it seems like he doesn't care about you if he doesn't want to do something nice
for you, that you want, just because it's too much trouble for him. Then see if
he gets it.
- answered by GreenKnight884
Answer #15
Yeah. Your boyfriend is comfortable in your relationship and is taking you for
granted. Not all men are romantic and like to give flowers, or show their
emotions in that manner. They may be good men otherwise. Men that are
comfortable in a relationship can be crass and tend to hurt your feelings.
*Things aren't going to get no better dear........
- answered by CLE CLE
Answer #16
Well, I guess I could see how flowers could be quite intimidating for a guy. All
those colors, and choices, and thorns. Ahhhh! Um...maybe he has a phobia. Who
knows? Just wait until after Valentine's Day to make it an issue. For all you
know he's leading you to think nothing special will happen when in fact he has a
whole day planned. If the fifteenth roles around and you still have nothing, let
him have it.
- answered by David K
Answer #17
it's just valentine's day! that's all! don't sweat the small stuff...i can
understand about maybe wanting to go somewhere or do something to celebrate
your love for each other, but don't get upset if it's not necessarily the way
YOU want it to be...remember, it's the thought that counts, and the love you
have...that's all that matters
- answered by britches
Answer #18
Sound like he is taking you for granted. Would you want to spend your life with
him ?
- answered by rich
Answer #19
Nah, ur right to be upset, he must be a retard and u need to actually teach him
step by step what he shld do. How old is he btw?? And what u said is true, gifts
are from the heart. But let's look at it overall cos to me Valentine's Day is
just another day, nothing special cos everyday with my partner is a special day.
How does he treat u, i mean normally...since u can be with him for almost 6
years am sure he ain't that bad isn't it? So, don't use VD as an excuse to be
upset. Anyways, u did say what u wanted and at least he cld do is to get
something nice for u. Am sure he needs to grow up someday...man, he's really
stupid to show the receipt after getting the flower for u! lol!
- answered by DooGie
Answer #20
Get rid of him sounds like a loser
- answered by wilo_chick
Answer #21
simply put guys don't see that pegan holyday the same as woman do.
- answered by Robert F
Answer #22
hhhhmmmmmm------start paying extra special attention to your self look
nice-----smell nice------maybe even flirt a little-------hopefully he will get
the drift-------you do deserve recognition on this special day
- answered by EZMZ
Answer #23
This guy doesn't seem to care about making you happy. If he treats you like
this often then you're a fool for staying with him. If he's allergic to flowers
or was attacked by a rosebush when he was a child and has anxiety attacks when
he's around flowers then forgive him. This should be a major red flag about the
depth of your relationship. Do some soul searching and be honest with yourself.
I hope things work out for the best.
- answered by Feeling Guilty?
Answer #24
Yet, another reason to hate this stupid holiday. As if this one wasn't bad
enough they had to add Sweetest Day in October. Just another day for women to
be disappointed. This holiday is so unfair to both men and women alike. Men
feel obligated to get something for their lady where there is no chance for the
element of surprise and women feel pressured that they're obligated to receive
something in order to feel they're loved. My man gets me flowers on ordinary
"out of the blue" days to surprise me every once in a while. I hate feeling
like we are obligated to celebrate our love for each other on the same day as
everyone else. I don't think you are being unreasonable but I don't think he's
being mean either because I can kind of see where you are both coming from. He
was probably trying to surprise you by pretending he wasn't going to do anything
for you but of course that's impossible to do when it's expected. This holiday
is overated hon. I'm sure he loves you more than he'll ever be able to express
to you and that no amount of flowers on a decided holiday would ever compare to
it.
- answered by Eulalia
Answer #25
It seems to me that you are being incredibly unreasonable. Why must you ask him
repeatedly about such things? Maybe he had plans for you and you ruined them by
asking, you need to grow up and realize that relationships aren't about
presents, it's more the thought that counts, not validation through gifts.
- answered by Sherlock H
Answer #26
Yes you did, you may not realize it, but you were wrong when you ask him because
it sounded more like an assumption that he hadn't, and that this is his friendly
reminder to plan something or else. Also you've dictated (I'm sure that's how
he see's it)how he should display his love for you over and over. I'm a woman
too and realized its not fair to put my ridiculous notions on him.(my husband)
The guys who gave me the most flowers were the liars and the cheats. Flowers
don't mean a thing- society just tries to make us think that we have to get
flowers or were not loved. Believe me it means more when guys does things from
the heart then when you try and force your will on them- no matter what it is.
It only seems to make them rebel and drives them to feel like not doing
anything. Worry less about what you think he should do and what he does do
instead. When you put to much pressure on a guy their too afraid of doing the
wrong thing they'd rather do nothing because they think you'll get mad either
way so why put in effort just to get yelled at. So if he's a good guy outside of
this don't sweat it- just be thankful to have a guy who loves you!
- answered by bittersweet
Answer #27
No Not at all... but have u ever tried to give him something he wants during
these 6 years ? well on the other hand he is acting so wired.. maybe he is going
to make a big surprise for u ... honey don't let these things spoil that day for
u also try to make a memorable valentine's day and make him to never forget it..
and u will see how he change !
- answered by persian_ladyyy
Answer #28
i don't think you're being unreasonable. you may have come off as demanding or
hard to please, but you were looking at a 6 year history where it's obvious he
didn't think to get you flowers...for any reason, let alone Valentine's Day.
sure, it may be commercial, but it's still that one day of the year, other than
your birthday, where he should at least try to make you feel extra special. if
he never takes extra effort to show you that, you should probably leave him.
- answered by Sunny
Answer #29
i don't understand, why are you asking us this, you should be asking yourself
this. He sounds like a jerk. Does he even do anything special on your
anniversary?
- answered by my love
Answer #30
WHY THE HELL DO GIRLS GET SO MAD WHEN WE DON'T GET THEM FLOWERS? It is the
dumbest holiday ever. It has no meaning. Stop being so selfish and demanding.
- answered by R123
Answer #31
we're only hearing ur side of the story but from what i AM hearing, this guy is
loser and deserves to die then burn in hell. hehe. yes i said, BURN IN THE
DEEPEST DEGREE OF HELL
- answered by Angela
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